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Funeral Director for Your Terrible Sales Page

About Lianna Patch


Expert Level

Special Skills

A/B Testing, Email, UX Copy, Web / Landing Page



Ideal For

SaaS B2B, B2C

Dearly beloved,

We are gathered here today to mourn your sales page.

Though you raised it with all the love and testing you could muster, your page died last night, suffocated under the weight of its own self-importance.

In hindsight, it’s become clear that your page should have talked about your customers’ needs, wants, dreams, fears–instead of about your product’s features.

Your page SHOULD have made it so simple, so easy to understand how you could solve your customer’s problems.

But it didn’t.

And–pass the tissues–it took down your whole email series with it, too.

Moment of silence. Okay.

Next time you need a landing page, or a sales email, or any type of copy you’d like to see turn into a full-fledged, grown-up revenue generator instead of dying in its youth, holler at me.

You’ll find me at Punchline Copy and SNAP Copy (where I and my biz partner James Turner make your copy convert way better, within your tight timeline. Waaaay better).

Or skip the sites and just write me at [email protected]. And maybe you’ll never have to come to one of these sad occasions again.


Lianna is a terrific writer – and maybe the only copywriter I’ve seen blend snarky humor and conversion copywriting principles. She’s all about squeezing the most out of every word on the page. And her results speak for themselves. Naturally, it doesn’t hurt that she has an awesome cat and a wicked singing voice. But even without those, I’d still hire Lianna time after time.

Joanna Wiebe

Founder, Copy Hackers and Airstory


A/B Testing, Email, UX Copy, Web / Landing Page

Audience: B2B, B2C


Expert Level

Copy Hackers Certified

Copyblogger Certified

Hubspot Inbound Certified




Punchline Copy


New Orleans, LA, United States